The Works of Henry Fielding Edited by George Saintsbury in 12 Volumes — Volume 12 by Fielding, Henry, 1707-1754, Saintsbury, George, 1845-1933

_Fust_. That will, indeed, surprise me.

_Trap_. Sir, you are not the first man my writings have surprised. But what's become of all our players?--Here, who begins the second act?--Prompter!

_Enter_ 1st Player.

_I Play_. Sir, the prompter and most of the players are drinking tea in the green-room.

_Trap_. Mr Fustian, shall we drink a dish of tea with them? Come, sir, as you have a part in my play, you shall drink a dish with us.

_I Play_. Sir, I dare not go into the green-room; my salary is not high enough: I shall be forfeited if I go in there.

_Trap_. Pshaw! come along; your sister has merit enough for herself and you too: if they forfeit you, I'll warrant she'll take it off again.

ACT II.

SCENE I.--_Enter_ TRAPWIT, FUSTIAN, Prompter, Lord PLACE, Mrs and Miss Mayoress.

_Trap_. I am afraid, Mr Fustian, you have hitherto suspected that I was a dabbler in low comedy; now, sir, you shall see some scenes of politeness and fine conversation among the ladies. Come, my lord, come, begin.

_Place_. Pray, Mrs Mayoress, what do you think this lace cost a yard?

_Fust_. A very pretty beginning of polite conversation, truly.

_Trap_. Sir, in this play I keep exactly up to nature, nor is there anything said in this scene that I have not heard come out of the mouths of the finest people of the age. Sir, this scene has cost me ten shillings in chair-hire, to keep the best company, as it is called.

_Mrs M_. Indeed, my lord, I cannot guess it at less than ten pounds a yard.

_Place_. Pray, madam, was you at the last ridotto?

_Fust_. Ridotto! the devil! a country mayoress at a ridotto! Sure, that is out of character, Mr Trapwit!

_Trap_. Sir, a conversation of this nature cannot be earned on without these helps; besides, sir, this country mayoress, as you call her, may be allowed to know something of the town; for you must know, sir, that she has been woman to a woman of quality.

_Fust_. I am glad to hear that.

_Mrs M_. Oh, my lord! mention not those dear ridottos to me, who have been confined these twelve long months in the country; where we have no entertainment but a set of hideous strolling players; nor have I seen any one human creature till your lordship came to town. Heaven send us a controverted election! then I shall go to that dear delightful place once more.

_Miss M_. Yes, mama, and then we shall see Faribelly, the strange man-woman that they say is with child; and the fine pictures of Merlin's cave at the playhouses; and the rope-dancing and the tumbling.

_Fust_. By miss's taste I believe she has been bred up under a woman of quality too.

_Place_. I cannot but with pleasure observe, madam, the polite taste miss shows in her choice of entertainments; I dare swear she will be much admired in the beau monde, and I don't question but will be soon taken into keeping by some man of quality.

_Miss M_. Keeping, my lord?