The Works of Henry Fielding Edited by George Saintsbury in 12 Volumes — Volume 12 by Fielding, Henry, 1707-1754, Saintsbury, George, 1845-1933

_Wit_. I am indeed, madam, a witness how unjustly he has abused you. [JACK _whispers_ LUCKLESS.

_Luck_. Witmore, excuse me a moment.

SCENE IX.--Mrs MONEYWOOD, WITMORE.

_Money_. Yes, sir; and, sir, a man that has never shewn one the colour of his money.

_Wit_. Very hard, truly. How much may he be in your debt, pray? Because he has ordered me to pay you.

_Money_. Ay! sir, I wish he had.

_Wit_. I am serious, I assure you.

_Money_. I am very glad to hear it, sir. Here is the bill as we settled it this very morning. I always thought, indeed, Mr Luckless had a great deal of honesty in his principles: any man may be unfortunate; but I knew when he had money I should have it; and what signifies dunning a man when he hath it not? Now that is a way with some people which I could never come in to.

_Wit_. There, madam, is your money. You may give Mr Luckless the receipt.

_Money_. Sir, I give you both a great many thanks. I am sure it is almost as charitable as if you gave it me; for I am to make up a sum to-morrow morning. Well, if Mr Luckless was but a little soberer I should like him for a lodger exceedingly: for I must say, I think him a very pleasant good-humoured man.

SCENE X.--LUCKLESS, WITMORE, MONEYWOOD.

_Luck_. Those are words I never heard out of that mouth before.

_Money_. Ha, ha, ha! you are pleased to be merry: ha, ha!

_Luck_. Why, Witmore, thou hast the faculty opposite to that of a witch, and canst lay a tempest. I should as soon have imagined one man could have stopt a cannon-ball in its full force as her tongue.

_Money_. Ha, ha, ha! he is the best company in the world, sir, and so full of his similitudes!

_Wit_. Luckless, good morrow; I shall see you soon again.

_Luck_. Let it be soon, I beseech you; for thou hast brought a calm into this house that was scarce ever in it before.

SCENE XI.--LUCKLESS, MRS MONEYWOOD, JACK.

_Money_. Well, Mr Luckless, you are a comical man, to give one such a character to a stranger.

_Luck_. The company is gone, madam; and now, like true man and wife, we may fall to abusing one another as fast as we please.

_Money_. Abuse me as you please, so you pay me, sir.

_Luck_. 'Sdeath! madam, I will pay you.

_Money_. Nay, sir, I do not ask it before it is due. I don't question your payment at all: if you was to stay in my house this quarter of a year, as I hope you will, I should not ask you for a farthing.

_Luck_. Toll, loll, loll.--But I shall have her begin with her passion immediately; and I had rather be the object of her rage for a year than of her love for half an hour.

_Money_. But why did you choose to surprise me with my money? Why did you not tell me you would pay me?

_Luck_. Why, have I not told you?